Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
