I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
