Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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