You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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