i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
