so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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