pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just gift wrapped bread.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
