By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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