he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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