I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
