The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have tasted many bathrooms
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
