and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
