when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
