I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're my little dorito
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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