Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
