So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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