I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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