Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
