it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
