Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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