he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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