in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
