so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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