a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
