just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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