Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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