My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
