why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
