Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
