just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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