I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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