that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
