I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
