i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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