When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
