On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
