I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
