Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
