You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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