Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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