your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
