Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
