normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
