I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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