We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
