Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
did i walk over a car last night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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