My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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