So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
