I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
