there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Barsexuality is the new black.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
