So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
