Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
